Media coaching: who needs it the most?

I thought this might amuse:

The BBC has printed football (and sporting) quotes from the week. It seems the footballers and media professionals need some help with losing the bizarre metaphors, cliches and poor syntax - some is plain stupidity - and the supporters should be hired by Sky.

First the footballers and media "stars":

"I'm a prince and I'm sort of slaying a dragon, which is something I've never done before, obviously."
David Beckham on his role as a dragon slayer in a new Disney ad.

"Rooney's touch is so good it's like he's got velvet gloves on his feet."
Classic Iain Dowie on Match of the Day.

"If it doesn't go right tonight, Wenger has another leg up his sleeve."
Glenn Hoddle in the build-up to the Carling Cup clash between Tottenham and Arsenal.

"I am not sure exactly why the winter break started but I'm sure it has something to do with the weather."
Owen Hargreaves discussing the Bundesliga winter shutdown.

"Whenever these two teams meet it's always a great game. But it wasn't a great game."
Lee Dixon on the United-Arsenal match.

Lawro: "I'll tell you something, Vidic looks good too."
Green : "Well I didn't fancy him at first but..."
Mark Lawrenson and Alan Green while commentating on Man Utd-Arsenal.

"The league is all about the league, the cups are the cups."
Ray Houghton on TalkSport talking about Liverpool's form - thank goodness he cleared that up!

"Hunt has proved on a few occasions that he's a clever type, and his challenge on Nick Montgomery earlier in the game wasn't clever either."
Neil Warnock's thoughts on intelligence.

"The only problem for Chelsea at the moment is that they are 2-0 down."
Andy Gray on Sky Sports during the Liverpool-Chelsea game.

And the supporters' wit:

Newcastle fans to West Ham fans: "Going down, going down, going down."
West Ham fans to Newcastle fans: "So are we, so are we, so are we!"

"You're not singing anymore!"
Wolves fans to an empty visiting stand when they drew level at Molineux (Cardiff fans had been banned from the game).

"Whinge on the telly, he's going to whinge on the telly!"
Boro fans to Sam Allardyce when El Hadji Diouf was sent off.

"Beaten by a franchise, you're getting beaten by a franchise." Sung by MK Dons fans to Barnet supporters.

And the banner of the week:

"Shaun Wright-Phillips - £21m
Andriy Shevchenko - £30m
2 European Cups - priceless
Money can buy you duff players, for everything else there's Cloughie!"